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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The Year 10 Formal was pretty much, in only one word: shit. I didn't like it at all. It was good social fun, but I thought it was pretty bad. The food wasn't promising and the music wasn't very good. Nevertheless, our yetpet gang was there and that was what made it happening.

I truly felt like a black sheep in the field. I was the only one wearing a suit outfit. Everyone else was wearing a dress. I also could have been the only female not wearing make-up. I also could have been the only female not shuffling my feet on the dance floor. When Jude, her parter, Jenny, Pear and Bub went on the dance floor, I remained at the table, watching from afar. Why, I did not dance, was because I don't know how to dance. Even if it's just 'shuffling' your feet or 'swaying' your body to the beats, I just didn't want to do it. I really didn't mind sitting on my own :) I'm used to being a Nigel.

After the formal, we went back to Pear's place to get changed, then we headed into the city for karaoke. I thought I'd tag along. Karaoke is much better than dancing.

I don't particularly want to get into details, so I'll just put them out in quick dot points. Hee. I'm beginning to get lazy.
Later that morning: I woke up. Nom woke up. Jude woke up. And we all pigged out on the chocolate that Jude's date bought for her. That day was like a reflection day. Or what Jude and Nom call it, loser day.

The weekend overall was very different. I got my facial, which fuckinghellmofo hurt, however the results were as promised (a cleaner face!). I also had my hair done, again for only 40 dollars this time. It was looking funky-ass. I paid about 30 dollars worth of taxi fares (my share, of course) as well, over the duration of last weekend. I had spent too much.

**********

Now I'm back in the boarding house. Studying for the School Certificate exam next Monday and Tuesday. Everything is feeling just fine.

GOOD NEWS!
My mum is coming down to Sydney at the end of next week! How exciting! She has finally found a tenant to rent out our house on Setia Bakti. Plus, she has found a very lucky owner for our dog Duchoy. She's coming down for Riana's birthday on the 14th of November.

The weather is getting much too warm for the likes of mine, nowadays. I hate it. It's like Malaysian weather. The air is humid most of the time. The nights are never as cool as before. It rains. ALOT. The feeling is disgusting.

The flies. The flies are incredibly annoying. They come right up to your face and fuck your mind up. Literally, screw up your mind. They disturb you till you're at over drive. You first begin to talk to them. Then shout. Then swear. When you realise that they aren't listening, you start to use sign language, because, maybe by chance, they understand the way our hands move. But no. It doesn't work. They remain fucking annoying. You've tried everything already. You don't have insect repellent, or insect exterminating spray. You begin to run for your life, and you are driven to the brink of death. You die.

Surely, from what I had just typed, you would realise how flies will drive us to insanity, then eventually to suicide. And you would've also realised that flies are the most annoying organisms to even breath on the surface of this planet. They should all go and die.

Mrs Wilson, the boarding house head mistress, wasn't at the table beside Anne-Marie this afternoon after school. I wondered, where had she went? She was usually there. Sitting by Anne-Marie with her spectacles on, writing letters, sealing envelopes, listening to Carlie nag - but she wasn't there doing any of these things. She wasn't even present. Later, after nagging Jude into studying and bouncing around with my guitar strapped around my shoulder, Jude and I decided to walk up to Charing Cross to do something. We honestly didn't have a purpose. When Jude and I reached the front door of the boarding house, just before we left, Anne-Marie explained to us why Mrs Wilson was not present.

Sophie, her dog, had passed away.

It broke my heart. I don't know the dog that well, and I never really, err... bonded? with her very much. But Sophie was Sophie the fat, black Cocker Spaniel, who looked like Mr Wilson and walked with him everyday. She was like, a big part of the boarding house community. It was an incredible loss. I cried on my way up the road. Jude looked pretty sad too. This obviously wasn't a very happy day. The weather made it extra bleak.

Thinking about the whole death thing, I feel so afraid to lose someone or something so close to me. If I lost either Jude, Nom or Jenny, I think I would stay in my room and not continue to live for a few days. Maybe even more than just a few days. I'd breakdown. They're all so close to me. We've been through this year together, and for each other.

Then I thought about my dogs back home. Pi will soon be a victim of life's inevitable fate. I know it. I understand it. It's like a trading concept. I hate it. I will soon have to face it. The mourning and the grieving and the crying. And my grandparents. How am I going to face that? My granddad is already 80-years-old and he's a diabetic. He had a minor heart attack about a month ago, which really got me worried. What will become of him in 6 months time? I really hate to think about it.

I remembered what Anne-Marie told me. You never know when the last time you will see your loved ones, so always tell them that you love them. I know, I really haven't been treating my grandparents with all the love in the world. I really should. It's hard. When your grandparents are always fighting with your mother, and when they always think that you're still a little 10-year-old. It's annoying. I must appreciate them for who they are.

I wonder how you, my readers, would react if I died. How? Tell me. Post a comment. If I died in an accident, how would you react to that? If I was in an accident, and received severe injuries, and a few days later, I die. What would you say and think? Would you care, or just say good-bye? Usually, people just say "OF COURSE I'D MOURN. ARE YOU CRAZY. I KNEW YOU" when it's not always true. Tell me, anyway. I really want to know.

Before I sign off, I have a few shouts I want to make :)
Jude; Brudder, thanks for being around for me. Regardless of your vicious attitude towards me. I'll be there for you, kay? PS. Can't wait for our periods to end. Fuck.
Nom; You reading this? Thanks for letting me stay at your place during the formal weekend. I really appreciate it darls. :) Don't cry ok? Remember. WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER LA.
Dav; Older men roxorz our soxorz. ;) GIVE ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS.
Nurie; Your LJournal never fails to entertain. I miss you :( Hope you enjoy Napoleon Dynamite!

That should be all now. For now.

Cheers.
PS. Here are some pictures for your bloody viewing pleasure.
PPS. I
didn't get into the Music 1 elective for Year 11/12. FUG.


(From left) Kwan/Jenny & Jude

(From left) Nomnom, Bub, Jude & Kwan/Jenny

(From left) Jude & I [before formal]

(From left) Nomnom & Jude

(From left) Rae, Kwan & Bub

PPPS. The next time you see an ASTERISK beside the title of any entry I post, it means the entry will be a long read. So, asterisk = long read. Comprende?

& turned on the lights; 20:03

about me.

raelene. rae. roro.
eighteen years.
malaysian.
completed her final year of school at st caths, sydney.
is a musician, photographer and aspiring designer.
loves travelling, art, music, great food, clear blue skies, writing and ice-cream.
enjoys drowning in music, strumming random chords on the guitar, playing tennis,
finger-bashing it out on a game console and a bowl of curry laksa.
despises bad traffic, girls with long and fair faces with large contact-lensed eyes, bad food, mascara goop, hard pillows and hard beds.

raeville.

RAEVILLE came about some time in the year of 2001. or 2002. it's been so long that i've forgotten already.
it all started here (i doubt the link works anymore though), in a dodgy little blog page. then it moved to here. a year later, and we moved to better things, namely blogspot.

ps. raeville is best viewed on mozilla firefox. just because it's better :)

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recent entries.

Just some contradiction
Jang!
A hairy situation
One Seven
Like a puppy getting lucky with a lassie
Wednesday/Thursday
I'm mathematically sadistic, too
Everything will be wonderful some day
96 Tears
A fish called Rae

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